Destroying the Status Quo.

New favourite joke:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

(via majestic-oakenboner)

theyellowbrickroad:

sorry i dont think i can come to ur birthday party theres a rumor going around that u dont have wifi :/

(via distraction)

unwinona:

McGonagall holding a Sorting Hat that has been duct-taped across the mouth and doing her own impression of the hat’s voice from behind her hand in the Great Hall.
James Potter HUFFLEPUFF
Remus Potter RAVENCLAW
Sirius Potter NOW THE GROUNDSKEEPER 
No classes together ever goodbye

reshiham:

yifflord:

reshiham:

why cant your nose be 12 inches long?

because then it’ll be a foot

image

(Source: greatjaggi, via 0riginal)

jamescannotfly:

nostopdasgay:

everets:

Every morning the light comes in and my toilet looks beautiful

holy shit

Please tell me that was an intentional pun

pallidbirth:

jumping out of helicopters is dangerous 

you know they say 1 in 5 people dont even make it to the ground

image

what do you mean they dont make it to the ground

where do they go

image

(via legsofwood)

tuukka-rask:

if a girl wants to watch a sport because she thinks a player is hot then let her, it’s not like guys watch the VS fashion show because they want to buy new bras. 

(via 0riginal)

found-liquorstore-and-drank-itt:

spermjackiavelli:

miss-nerdgasmz:

modifiedmermaid:

freemindfreebody:

swift-as-the-coursing-river:

jimcavill:

Because a man has to be a sociopath to love a woman with cellulite. Fuck this world. 

If all residents of hell look like Scarlett Johansson, I renounce my atheism and take up Satanism

whoever wrote this needs to be punched. a lot.

oh no 27. im 19 and have it, welcome to the non airbrushed real world

#that article is bullshit #i would pay anything to look as good as her #like goddamn

I’m 20 and I have stretch marks and cellulite.

can i punch whoever wrote that in the throat? please? like a lot
My #mcm and #mce because he is just so fantittietastic 😍😍😍😚😏😌😊😊😄
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